Permanent Ink

So.....
(what comes next?)

Geez, it's been seven months since I've written anything. And really, I'm sitting here with a basic idea of what I want to write and what I'm trying to convey. I'm just waiting for inspiration or an idea but I just keep thinking-
what comes next?

Ha! See there! I've already got it.

That. There. I've already pin pointed what brought me back to this computer screen in the first place. This hanging question that every one around me seems to have the answer to. What does come next?

I'm so type A. I have spirals and binders and lists and pen marks and chicken scratch all over the place. It's chaos but it's still a perfectly organized "Where-am-I-going?" I started with a web site that let me choose thousands of schools and it narrowed my choice down to only seventy. I had to cross out twelve or so that devoted themselves to Catholicism or Judaism. Some were 'historically black serving" or "historically hispanic serving". No scholarships to be had there.

Another twenty were crossed out due to the "town" being the size of a public mall. Yikes...

And now I'm left with this list. I'm holding this paper and all these names that don't mean anything to me yet are circled with notes and stars denoting city size and "cool" factor. And I'm thinking- what if my future husband is here? And here I go, crossing it out, because it's Iowa! I'm discriminating against my future husband because his state sucks?

There's no erasing a pen, either. That boy is just out of luck!

And now, see, after a good week of researching cities and schools I'm down to a solid ten. I have a favorite, though. And it's tiny but it's in a huge city between two beautiful rivers. It's got one of the prettiest skylines in the US. And crime is so low that it's been rated "The Most Livable City" in the US today

...Pittsburgh? Wow, who pictured me in Pittsburgh? It's like... freezing up there, right?

But yeah. I've picked my major. My idea of a new life. And I hope... I hope that this school that I circled four or five times...well, I just want something to happen there. I want life to start.